Nanny state bans baked beans for underage eaters

As perverse as it might seem here is photographic evidence from our local branch of Sainsburys that the humble baked bean has been identified as a major threat for the British juvenile population. Proof of age will now be required to purchase.

A Heinz spokesman was believed to have said that the company was lobbying not to have their 56 other varieties suffer a similar fate.

Meantime it is not clear what activist youths will make of the government’s alternative proposal: namely that under-18s be provided with a half-baked bean, in keeping with current policies.